


ten times

by streuselkuchen



Category: Zeta Gundam, 機動戦士ガンダム 逆襲のシャア | Gundam: Char's Counterattack
Genre: M/M, T for alcohol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-17
Updated: 2018-09-10
Packaged: 2019-03-05 20:37:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13395780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/streuselkuchen/pseuds/streuselkuchen
Summary: (actually, just four)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [zgok](https://archiveofourown.org/users/zgok/gifts).



> [inspiration](https://twitter.com/regeneregretta/status/953030190644555776) ♡

The first time it happened felt like a life time ago. Like it was a different life, to be more exact. Despite that, the memory was burned into Char's memory- for better or worse. He was grateful for the peaceful reminiscing it granted him even though it left him flustered.

They had been drinking much that evening on the Audhumla. A small part of the crew had come together, celebrating something- he honestly couldn't remember what it was anymore. Someone’s birthday, an anniversary, something that had prompted the captain to break out the actually good alcohol. Their small get together had been able to forget about the war for a small while, enjoying themselves and fooling around. Happened like that so often he could count it on one hand.

  
It only lasted a few hours, with many having to retire to sleep because they had to work the next shift. Emma and Reccoa had disappeared very early on for a work related reason as well. A group that had started playing cards at the beginning disbanded once it had turned into strip poker, with Henken the first to lose his shirt and pants, at which point he called it quits. Once it cleared up, it was only Amuro and Char relaxing on a couch, both of them in an alcohol induced laughing fit watching a video of a Haro unit with a knife taped on its head. Their laughter quieted down for a moment, until the Haro unit removed the knife on its own and stood on its stubby legs, brandishing a knife.

"Fuck- oh fuck, how dangerous even is that? Who expects a Haro to carry a knife of all things!" wheezed Amuro, drying his tears.

"Imagine that, you own a Haro in your house, and there comes the ball, you’re not thinking anything, until suddenly-" Char poked Amuro between the ribs. "There’s the knife!"

Amuro curled up in laughter, hiding his sides from further attacks. Char had to stop for a moment to admire Amuro’s smile until a ding pulled him out of that thought.

"Wait, wait, I gotta check that..." Amuro still hadn’t stopped laughing as he checked the notification on his phone.

"Oh, sorry, Bel wants me to come to bed." He shrugged his shoulders to signify, "You know how it is." Oh Amuro. Char had no idea how anything was when it came to dating women. Regardless of that, he felt like something heavy dropped in his belly.

Amuro already got up, dusted off his pants, when Char reached for his wrist.

"Stay."

Just a single word, not much more. In that moment it felt justified, but looking back on it Char was mortified how he said something so embarrassing. Luckily for him, Amuro hadn’t noticed anything awkward.

"For another drink? Nah, I've really had enough- I haven’t laughed like this in ages..." he rubbed the back of his head.

"No, not for another drink.” Char added quickly. The quicker he spoke, the less he’d blush.

”We can just, uhh.." what exactly did he want to do? His confidence left him instantly and he dropped his hand just as quickly.

"Sit down, watch more stupid videos? Maybe drink something? No, wait, we won't drink-"

Amuro giggled in his tipsiness at Char’s inability to speak.

"Well, we could have a cup of tea at- what is it...4 am?" Amuro joked, and Char was once again drawn to his smile. The way he stopped thinking for a few seconds was proof enough that he needed sleep, more than anything.

He shook his head and got up as well.

"No, you’re right, it's time to go to bed."

 

They were quiet on the way to their quarters. It wasn’t like them to be loud and rambunctious anyways, but this silence wasn’t normal either.  
Amuro started speaking, his voice soft.

"You know, it's nice that we-" He cleared his throat, his voice returning to normal.  
"-was nice that we could talk a little and all. We haven’t caught up in quite a while and I...well I-" Amuro seemed to struggle for words, mirroring Char from before. A few seconds of silence before he opened his mouth again.  
"It was good seeing you again, is all I’m saying. Don't just disappear like that again, yeah?" he asked half jokingly, just as they reach Amuro’s door.

"Yeah...no, I mean, I won’t." Char was a little taken aback by Amuro’s honesty, despite all the drunken jokes. He knew what Amuro meant, and he heard what he didn’t say. At least he hoped he did.

When Amuro returned to his room and closed the door, Char stood there another few moments. He raised his hand to his face, his fingertips grazing his cheeks. The heat had to be the alcohol’s fault.

 

* * *

 

The next morning, Char tried to avoid running directly into Amuro. His nose buried in a cup of coffee, he scanned the room and sat down when he was sure Amuro wasn’t in the room. He didn’t want to avoid him all together, but his hangover made his mind bleary and heavy and he’d rather have some quiet.

  
A soft giggle near the entrance made him raise his head. Bel and Amuro were walking in, her arm linked in his. Char discreetly sunk his head again, his cheeks heating up as the hot coffee steamed in his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there'll be a 2nd part for the other 2 blushy chars (set in/after cca) 
> 
> "ten times" is a reference to the joke i made on twitter and "four" are the 4 blushing chars mar drew (excluding 0079 char because theres no charmuro in 0079)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> take [mar's blushing meme chart](https://twitter.com/toniyamalme/status/953030190644555776) and use it as bingo when reading this fic

A few years later, he returned. This time as Casval Rem Deikun, leader of Neo Zeon.

Londo Bell discovered it early enough to intervene, before the tension between earth- and spacenoids could culminate in another war. When the Federation was informed of Neo Zeon’s existence they chose an approach pretty much unheard of, especially when it preceded an armed conflict.

They engaged in long and tedious peace talks with Neo Zeon. It was obvious both sides would never be content with coexistence, but the Federation had made Neo Zeon a generous deal:

Instead of wiping them out with their military force, a step that was easy in theory but would cost more money and manpower than the Federation was willing to relinquish, they gave Neo Zeon the chance the settle in space, independently from earth. Time had shown again and again that Neo Zeon would not stop yearning for war unless this was the case. Another reason kept the Federation from instigating a war, one they didn’t like to admit. Neo Zeon had proven how quickly they could gain the population’s favour, having already peacefully claimed an entire colony just by existing. Earth couldn’t stop this development, so they weren’t eager to fight it. They would rather present themselves as peaceful benefactor, than spark anti earth sentiment by killing hundred thousand civilians in a strike against Neo Zeon, turning them into the victim and their own forces into the unrelenting aggressor.

But on the outside it was uneventful, and the public was kept unaware of how narrowly they avoided a catastrophe.

 

Journalists and camera teams occupied the location of the peace talks, always eager to catch a glimpse of famous figures- not the politicians, but pilots like Amuro Ray, Londo Bell's commander Bright Noa, or the leader of Neo Zeon, Casval Deikun. Interviews with these people were far more interesting than hearing the same statements from spokespeople about hour long discussions of redistribution of territory, reparations for old wars and agreements on limitations of troop sizes.

Char and Amuro were always present for these talks, but they barely looked at each other, let alone talked. Char seemed detached at times, like he could care less about the future of either Neo Zeon or earth. Amuro on the other hand seemed more aggravated the more unbothered Char looked.

During a break they spoke with each other. Five years of pent up anger had Amuro near yelling at Char, demanding to know why he had disappeared without a word, returned only to start a war, igniting a conflict that could kill millions. Why he never cared about anyone but himself.

Char swallowed his words, almost as if he was glad Amuro had nothing but disdain for him.

During the next few meetings, Amuro avoided looking at Char, until he had him passed a note, apologising for his outburst.

Char kept the note in his pocket like it was a love letter. Surely enough, he broke up with Nanai shortly before the peace talks came to an end, confessing to her he wasn’t the right man for her, and not the right man for Neo Zeon either.

 

* * *

 

 

When it was all said and done, the last contract had been approved of and signed, everyone found themselves holding a glass of champagne and engaging in polite conversation with each other. Politicians from both sides were posing for photos, shaking hands and smiling brightly whenever a camera shutter fell closed, answering questions and speaking of hope and friendship and peace.

Char and Amuro were across the room from each other, caught up in uninteresting conversations. When the person Amuro was talking with excused themselves, he found himself looking across the room, looking for Char without realising it. Char was doing the same, and when their eyes met, they kept their gazes locked for a few seconds too long, and without words agreed to find a quiet spot to talk. A room that wasn’t roaming with press and politicians, which would be pleasantly quiet but also undeniably awkward.

Surely enough, they found one, a nicely furnished room that had been used as a makeshift storage room for numerous camera teams, with tripods and bulky bags, looking out of place between the classy decor. Not as out of place as both Char and Amuro felt when it was just the two of them in an empty room.

Amuro cleared his throat, offering his glass in toast.

“To a peaceful future.”

Char nodded towards Amuro, and they clinked glasses.

He opened his mouth to say something when Amuro cut him off, eager to get something off his chest.

“I wanted to apologise again. I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that. I was-“

Char felt a smile tugging at his lips while he watched Amuro struggle with words, avoiding his gaze. Almost as if he was embarrassed.

“No, it’s okay. You just told me what you were thinking.”

“In an asshole way.”

“But you were honest. It's something I've always appreciated about you.”

Char's sudden sincerity threw Amuro off, and he struggled for a reply. Instead he took a thoughtful sip before speaking again, giving his heart enough time to stop racing, and changed the topic.

“...well, what are you going to do now?”

If Char had noticed that Amuro avoided replying to his compliment, he didn’t show it. Instead he considered Amuro’s question for a few seconds, but then decided to be up front about it.

“Not sure yet. Though I’m definitely staying out of this politics business and any Zeon reincarnations.”

“Trust me, I wouldn’t even let you if you tried.” Amuro interrupted him, making Char chuckle.

“That's good to hear. But, well, now that Neo Zeon has its own colonies, I might settle there? I could help in construction. Or I could study something; I haven’t done that in a long time. I was 18 when I was in the academy...”

God, he was old. Every year of war had added another 10 to his body and mind, and he felt exhausted beyond repair.

Amuro was watching him thoughtfully, encouraging him to keep talking.

“I could also go to earth. I feel like I’ve spent more time of my life talking about earth in abstract terms instead of actually being there. Maybe I’ll just travel.”

He shrugged.

“One of my friends told me he could use my help in his company.” He wasn’t a friend, but he didn’t want Amuro to know he didn’t have any of those.

"I could join him and leave for the moon tonight."

Amuro’s eyes widened at his last words. Was the moon no good?

“So your transportation is already secured?” Amuro attempted casually.

“Yes, I only have to call him back.” He checked the time on his watch.

“I should better hurry, he wanted to leave at 1800.” Char already pulled his phone out of his pocket, when Amuro’s hand loosely grabbed his wrist.

“Stay.”

Before Char could react, Amuro dropped his hand. He looked just as surprised as Char felt.

Dumbfounded, Char said the first thing that came to his mind.  
  
“Here?”

“No, not here, I mean, I don’t care where exactly, just…”  
  
He took a deep breath, and Char was almost anxious to hear what would come next.

“I couldn’t say it last time we met, when we were on the Audhumla but...I missed you. When I heard about Neo Zeon, and how you’re the leader, I- call me stupid, but I was actually worried about you.”

“About me?”

“I felt like...like you were doing something stupid without thinking it through.”

“I was.” Char admitted freely.

“You were! That’s why I got so angry. Sometimes you’re such a fucking idiot. You need someone to look after you.”

Char gave Amuro a look, and it took him a few seconds of silence to react.

“Huh? No, not me! I don’t know what I’m doing half of the time either.”

“I don’t believe that. You’re the great Amuro Ray, wunderkind newtype and dashing soldier of the Federation.”

“I don’t- dashing?” Amuro laughed genuinely.

Char was surprised, but couldn’t help but stare at Amuro’s smile. It’s been so long.

“I’ll stay.” he said softly, gaze not leaving Amuro’s face.

Amuro hadn’t noticed Char’s fond stare and instead placed his empty glass on a nearby desk.

“Hah, now that you’ve agreed I actually don’t know what we’re gonna do...I’ll have to let Chan know that I’m done with the talks, she wanted to go over the maintenance protocol with me again…”

“Chan?” Char asked before he could stop himself. God what was it with him today that he couldn't ask questions in entire sentences.

“My girlfriend. Well, not anymore.”

“Oh.” He wasn’t sure what the appropriate reaction was. He wasn’t even sure what it was he was feeling exactly.

“No, it’s okay. We’re still friends. It’s just an old habit."

Char considered his next words but decided the “fuck it” approach would work best.

He drank the rest of his champagne and started talking as he set the glass away, forcing himself to be as casual as possible about this.

“...You know, back then, you and Beltorchika...it took me a while to realise that but...I was pretty jealous.”

“Jealous? Weren’t you and Reccoa a thing?”

“Who?”

“The- oh, nevermind. I understand though. Bel is a beauty.”

“No, I…” Char shook his head and laughed. Oh well. It made little sense to him, so why should it make sense to Amuro? But just a moment after, something clicked in Amuro.

“You meant...something else?”

Unhappy that he didn’t have anything in his hands to fiddle with, he rubbed the back of his neck.

“Well, I...had wanted to spend more time with you than was possible, I guess. You were only on the Audhumla for such a short time, if only you had joined us in space...

I...I missed you. Still do.”

Char knew he could have more than a sip of sparkling wine before his face heated up, but hopefully Amuro didn’t know that.

But Amuro himself seemed to be a lightweight, with his cheeks a shade darker than before. He was quiet for a moment in disbelief, before he grinned and shook his head.  
“We’re both idiots, huh.”

If Char felt like anything, it was like an idiot. It was comforting to know Amuro felt no different.

He wanted to smile too, and mirror Amuro, but he was too anxious to do so. He couldn’t relax until he had something more tangible- no more maybes or tomorrows, he had already wasted years by not realising why Amuro’s proximity made him feel so safe.

“Since I’m not leaving tonight after all, would you, ah...care to...if you’d want to...join me at dinner?”

Amuro’s immediate response was laughter- genuine, heartfelt laughter. He couldn’t believe Char sounded like he had never asked someone out before, and maybe he didn’t, but also he didn’t care, all he cared about was that this mess was over and Char was asking him out like a lovestruck teen.

“You mean, a date, right?” He had almost forgotten to be worried about that.

Char nodded slowly, as if he’d change his mind depending on Amuro’s reaction.

“Yeah, I’d love to.”

Char wondered whether his face was just as red as Amuro’s, but thought that it had to be impossible, considering Amuro blushed a shade darker when he gave his reply.

Still, he tried to hide his embarrassment. God, he felt like a kid, this was ridiculous, he shouldn't be like this- when he felt two warm arms embracing him, and he melted into the hug. He needed a few seconds before he was able to wrap his arms around Amuro too. It took just a few seconds before Amuro broke the silence.

“I would have killed you if you had started a war, you know.” Amuro murmured into his neck.

Char was quiet. The mood had shifted, but it wasn't completely unwelcome. Amuro was only saying out loud what they both already knew, and he was grateful that he was brave enough to do so.

“When we...when we first heard the rumours that you had returned, I was so relieved. I was just happy that you were alive. But when we realised Neo Zeon was resurfacing again? And that you were involved-” He cut off.

“You had the right to be angry.”

“I was angry because I was afraid.” He was surprised by his own words.

Char was perfectly aware of what it would have meant if he had to fight Amuro. And he would have welcomed it. As if sensing his thoughts, Amuro hugged him tighter. This, whatever it was, their history- it wasn't something to be solved in one simple conversation. But he didn't mind. 

"Let's get out of here." Amuro whispered into his neck.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading!! ♡


End file.
